2 years into this “next-generation” of home consoles a few revelations have been made quite clear to enthusiast gamers. Arguably the most startling for this group is the paradigm shift of Nintendo and its subsequent abandonment of its loyal fanboy army. They appear more interested in moving to the grandma and soccer mom audience with their friendly white-boxed Wii.

While most gamers like the idea of an expanded audience in theory, the reality of it is not as pleasant. In practice this means that the new and prettier installments of their beloved franchises get ignored in the wake of a torrential downpour of mediocre mini-game collections and gimmicky accessories. Throughout the internet this outcry is heard loud and clear. Gamers are begging for Nintendo to return to the glorious days of yesteryear where Mario stuck to plumbing and Starfox stayed in his Arwing.

The problem with this whining is that if you take an honest look at Nintendo, this isn’t a new direction for them. The difference is that this time, they’ve actually been successful.

First off, Nintendo is a business. This may sound like a rather simplistic thing to point out, but it is quite apparent that most of the Wii Whiners out there don’t understand this idea. While you may swear eternal loyalty to the big N, that loyalty will only be reciprocated as long as you pay the bills for them. If you take a look at the sales figures of the last generation, it becomes clear that the Ninty fans weren’t doing a stellar job. So while there are petitions and forums devoted to getting an Earthbound sequel, those same folks need to understand that a project like that will only make a tiny fraction of the amount of money that Wii Fit 4: Your Still A Fatass! will inevitably rake in.

Even the actual pursuit of this fabled “wider audience” for gaming has not become a sudden endeavor for Nintendo. This is a company that got its start making playing cards. Hell, their first step into electronics was a fucking love tester. The company was nearly 100 years old when the NES launched.

When they finally got into the home console business, their super special trade secret for success was simply having a seal of quality (It is worth noting that they took the word “quality” out of their seal before the Wii released). After the oversaturated shit-show that was the Atari series of consoles, Nintendo understood that poor movie-licensed games and jingoistic crap could end your chances in the fledgling video game industry. In 1985, Nintendo had reached that “wider audience” simply by making a system that had consistently decent games.

Even their family friendly orientation was present from the start. They were so strict in their licensee agreements that even Joe Lieberman applauded their efforts. Keep in mind that this is at a time when most Japanese companies were honestly considered a “threat to the nation”. In recent years you can see the consequences of their family friendly nature. I have a Purple…er… Indigo Gamecube that presently acts as a bookend. Not exactly the most badass of color schemes. My point is that this reputation for being the company of hardcore gaming was never truly warranted.

Do you waggle fans remember me?

Before you decide to chant out a litany of games that stole your time years ago and that “hardcore” gamers speed-run to this day, remember one thing… THAT WAS YEARS AGO! Back then, games like Chrono Trigger, Super Mario Kart and Metroid weren’t known specifically as “hardcore” games. They were simply games that were designed to have a wide appeal at the time because they were genuinely original when they were released. They were not targeted specifically to reach the tiny, niche market of only time-altering RPG fans or lovers of female bounty hunters. Games have grown since then and moved on to new forms. It’s about time that “hardcore” gamers do the same.

However, mediocre E rated games aren’t the only things that are clogging store shelves thanks to the Wii. Almost anyone who has entered a game store has probably noticed the unending stream of cheap plastic accessories that are made for Nintendo’s new white box. This has become another sore point for fans believing that this is further evidence of Nintendo selling them down the river to plastic shell peddlers Joytech and Mad Catz. While I would prefer to see actual games on store shelves rather than accessories that turn your Wiimote into all manners of murder weapons or sex toys or both I have to say that this is just par for the course with any Nintendo console.

You see, I have a theory that most Nintendo fanboys have a criminally selective memory. They all seem to be under the belief that each Nintendo console only had releases that either started with Super Mario or Final Fantasy and the only peripheral that ever came out for their systems was the Zapper.

Let me jog your memory. The NES pioneered the concept of drowning gamers in either useless or broken peripherals. As I am writing this article there is a R.O.B. staring back at me with those empty red eyes, just begging me to play some Gyromite with him. The constant stream of crap peripherals has been associated with Nintendo since 1985, they’re recent success has only reinvigorated this strategy.

His gaze is unending.

 

I suppose that’s ultimately what it comes down to. We liked Nintendo better when they were the loser of the business. They were the equivalent of the kid that you only hung out with because by comparison you were just so much cooler. That may sound awful but desperate attention starved people are willing to go to great lengths to earn your love, and in Nintendo’s case your money. This is what gave us a steady supply of faithful reinterpretations of the games which entertained us for years before. Nintendo knew that they could count on us. But, much like the loser you used to score cool points with, they will find a new group of friends who will appreciate them for who they are….

Then you’re fucked and have to find a new underdog to keep you company.

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Well, already in the first week I have broken my attempt at a religious routine of blogging.

 

I refuse to let this be the end of my attempts to become more responsible, but goddamn this is harder than I thought.

 

Yesterday, I ended my day after a half-day of work and a single a lecture. Immediately I was called by one of my friends who wanted to hang out. Being 2:30pm I figured I had a few hours to spare. After going school shopping with a group of friends and a few levels of Braid later it was 9pm and I still wasn’t working at home.

 

Needless to say I neither studied, read, exercised or blogged yesterday.

 

On the plus side, despite the wash that was yesterday I have managed to stay up to date on both my readings and exercising. However, when I look at my upcoming academic schedule I visibly shudder. It makes me wonder how I could get through these past semesters with such a lazy attitude. However, this may be a little too early for me to be this concerned. Time will tell.

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So, despite the fact that my previous post doesn’t mention it, I feel I should now. It has been a long hiatus from writing for me. Needless to say, summer was busy for me. I was fortunate enough to have another full-time government job that I will get to continue on at this fall.

 

With the influx of distant friends and the burden of school off my shoulders all semblance of order or restraint washed away swiftly. Despite the implication, nothing regrettable happened; it was just the usual fun time-wasting antics of summers past.

 

Actually, this might have been a more productive summer considering the money I made along with earning a useful G2 class driving license and with it the freedom to meander the city in a beat-up grey Mazda minivan.

 

But, I’m back now.

 

I made a vow to myself that there would be some significant changes to my lifestyle in September. My vow was to stick to something I never really had dedicated myself to… a routine. Mostly I wanted to get out of the unhealthy cycle of laziness and screen-looking that plagued my previous academic years. While some of you may say that maintaining a quasi-personal blog is very counter-intuitive, I would like to rebut that with a stern but friendly, fuck you I like it.

 

First off, there is the exercise plan. With tuition this year costing me around $5500, I figured that I might as well milk this university thing for all it is worth. In other words, my gym attendance will increase infinitely this year. I am also coupling this gym regimen with a nightly push-up routine brought to me by the intertubes.

 

While health and fitness was a good motivator to start, it certainly wasn’t as powerful as vanity. Recently I was informed of a looming family vacation to Barbados which is both awesome and daunting. This time on the beach I would prefer to not look like a cushy surrender flag. It would be nice to blend in for once, and maybe get to look like a bronzed god…

 

Putting academics after a section devoted to my desires to get killer triceps kinda makes me seem like a big fucking haircut doesn’t it?

 

The way I see any schooling is that it just takes time. When I was having marathon study sessions at the library learning more in a week than I did most of that semester, I decided that a less intense regimen throughout the year might not be a bad idea. As much as I prefer being at home, my productivity in the library is at least 10-fold that of my study sessions in my room.

 

Attendance for classes was never a major problem for me. And that alone could get me high B’s for many of them. However, if I want to give this med school thing a legitimate shot I should go for the gusto and get some A’s.

 

There is also a good chance that this academic routine will play wonders for some other problems I have such as my insomnia. The best way to make sure that I both go to sleep and wake up at reasonable times is to have a rather rigid schedule to base myself off of. Nothing will ensure a quick sedation than reading through 2 chapters on point mutations.

 

And of course, no routine is complete without some form of leisure. This sounds remarkable geeky, planning out your fun-time. Luckily my weekends have remained perfectly free of any commitments. I plan on quarantining my gaming and usual hanging out to this limited time period.

 

However, I do want some of my free time to be at least personally fulfilling. Recently I’ve picked up my guitar again, and have decided to reintroduce myself to it. With my friends’ newfound enthusiasm for music, I feel I should try to join in on the fun. 30 minutes every weekday should be sufficient practice for me to get back into the groove of things.

 

While it is really exciting to plan this new way of living for myself, I am aware of how much of a challenge this will be for me to maintain in the days to come.

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Neversoft, you have got to be kidding me.

Anyone working on Guitar Hero: World Tour has absolutely no right to criticize Harmonix on innovation. It appears that World Tour’s director Brian Bright has forgotten who actually started the series that his company has been riding the coattails of. The name of your game is itself a rip off of the premiere game mode in Harmonix’s Rock Band.

How he was able to say say this without either himself or the interviewer cracking is beyond me. He just has to look back to his own projects disastrous debut, when his boss was immediately called out for both lying and copying another company’s innovation.

For some reason Tony Hawk and a drunken Paula Abdul (there is good chance that she still thinks this is the set of American Idol)

Neversoft’s gaff has brought up a larger issue to light though. Why the hell should anyone care for Guitar Hero: World Tour? I’ve read the previews, seen the few unique features of World Tour and I still don’t see the appeal. Why should anyone should even remotely consider this game over the Rock Band series?

The vast majority of features that have been announced are already present in Rock Band and will likely be advanced upon in Rock Band 2. This means that Activision is already playing catch-up in this genre. Yet there is still a great deal of faith being given to Neversoft, believing that they can make a game that has an experience even close to that of Rock Band’s.

Let’s just think about this for a second. Rock Band can easily be described as Harmonix’s magnum opus. This is a company that has made more than 13 music-oriented and rhythm games over the past decade. Most of Harmonix’s employees have substantial experience in music, many moonlighting in relatively successful bands.

On the flip side, Neversoft’s claim to fame is the Tony Hawk franchise. Now maybe I’ve been playing Tony Hawk wrong for 9 years, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t a revolutionary rhythm game.  The idea that they can create a better full-band rhythm game than Rock Band on their first try is bat-shit fucking insane.

Before anyone accuses me of being a speculative cynical jerk I should let you know that this isn’t entirely speculation. Neversoft has had the chance to iterate on Harmonix’s success before. While Guitar Hero 3 is probably the best selling game in the series (it helps that it was released on every console known to man) don’t let that financial success confuse you. Most plastic axe battlers probably didn’t know or care about the developer switch until it was too late.

Guitar Hero 3 was the game that turned me off the Guitar Hero franchise for good. I was amazed at Activision and Neversoft’s ability to make a sequel to a game as profoundly simple as Guitar Hero worse than its predecessor. Sure, the game had some good songs (Cliffs of Dover, etc.) but the actual game-play just felt strange. The actual note-charts felt obnoxiously overloaded for the sake of difficulty, having you playing notes that weren’t actually there. The prime example of this is the game’s most notorious song, “Through the Fire and the Flames” the hardest part of which was actually a synth piano opening. These oversights spelt it out pretty clearly. Music wasn’t exactly Neversoft’s strong suit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s hard to pick out the perfect Dead Kennedys song to accompany a 720 Benihana, but that doesn’t make them qualified to tell the difference between a C sharp and their assholes. Their game lacked the appearance of any technical understanding or passion for music. While I will never argue that Guitar Hero is a substitute for actual musical talent, the note charts that are in the previous clearly were made with care. They corresponded with the notes in the actual song; their progression followed along with the musical scale, etc.

Even the new features that Neversoft brought to the table were awful and half-baked. The battle mode was just broken and un-fun. It ultimately became a contest to see who could get the first power-up to win. The single player boss battles were even worse. They felt like idiotic wars of attrition that kept you from getting to play real fucking songs. Neversoft even had the gall to take features like co-op quickplay out. Why the hell would you ever want to make a sequel have less features? This is one of the best examples of the stupidity that Activision nurtures.

Despite that, Guitar Hero at its core is a fun party game that plays off our wildly awesome and childish rock-star fantasies. The first two games captured that perfectly with notebook scribble menus and epic rock concert venues with animatronic zombies fighting at the Stonehenge. Guitar Hero 3 felt like it was trying to teach us about the sad reality of rock n’ roll where you will be drowned in product placements and dealing with one heroin addicted lead singer.

Lets look to the present now. World Tour is promising to have the full band experience with regular DLC featuring full albums. For now lets ignore what Rock Band has and focus on what Activision has both promised and delivered in the past.

Prior to GH3, I remember hearing promises of regular DLC. GH3 went months without having additional content. And even when songs you wanted were added to the online catalogue, you were purchases were forced to endure Activision’s draconian bundle and pricing system. You had to buy songs in 3-packs, regardless of how shitty the other two songs were. The songs were also priced at the uncomfortable rate of 500 points for 3 songs. This comes to about $6.25US. It also helped that most of the songs were present in previous Guitar Hero games.

This record makes it quite clear about what we should expect from World Tour. A feature-lite version of a game that has been out for a year with ugly aesthetics, arbitrarily competitive game-play with an equally limited and expensive DLC catalog. But hey, there is a midi sequencer to make up for all of it.

Please don’t accuse me of actively wanting the release of a bad game. I would love to have two high-quality rhythm games to play with my friends. It’s good to want things. However, gamers have to be both realistic and reasonable about their expectations for the next Guitar Hero. Gamers have already tasted the fruits of Neversoft and Activision’s labor. All I’m saying is that it takes a special kind of idiot to be anxious to eat shit twice.

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