One of my earliest memories comes straight from 1992 when I was five years old. My older brother had just dragged me out of bed to watch some cartoon with him. He vehemently promised that waking up at the crack of dawn would be worth it. Getting up before my parents was pretty much the only way to circumvent the no-violent-television rule that had been ruthlessly imposed on us. So, we quietly sneaked downstairs, made ourselves toaster strudels and sat in front of a 17” tube TV. Then at 7 am we watched a show where a rich play-boy turned crime fighter beat the living hell out of man-bat. There was also a badass rocket car involved. From that day forward I never doubted my brother’s judgment on pretty well everything.

That day also marked the advent of my near psychotic love of the Batman franchise. While my fanaticism for the caped crusader waned during some low points for the series, nothing disappointed me more than the fact that in my time there was never a good Batman game.

Over 16 years I got used to this sad reality and had moved on. This would soon change when word got out that the makers of the fan-service collectathon LEGO Star Wars had turned their sights on Gotham City. The announcement truly shocked me. How could someone combine all the significant loves of my childhood into one product? Needless to say, I preordered this shit right away.

When it finally came out and entered my 360 the opening cinematic complete with Danny Elfman’s familiar theme brought me right back to the first time I saw Tim Burton’s Batman. This made it very clear that Traveller’s Tales had an understanding of the source material and their audience. That is pretty much the game’s real selling point. It is fan-service done with tender, loving care. That alone probably makes it the best Batman video game of my lifetime.

The LEGO game aesthetic and style fits the Batman universe perfectly. There are tonnes of must-have collectables and unlockables that keep you coming back to harvest more studs. The tongue-in-cheek humor provides some much appreciated inside jokes to long-time fans. And most importantly, the game is simple fun that makes you feel like a kid again.

When judged solely as a game, that is where the magic starts to falter. If the sales numbers for LEGO Stars Wars and LEGO Indiana Jones are to be believed, millions of people have already played LEGO Batman. This iteration does bring some improvements in terms of the amount of content and variety of missions with the ability to switch over to the opposite side of crime and play some missions out of Arkham Asylum. However, the only substantive gameplay change is the inclusion of the Batarang, which adds another dimension to your quest to find more studs.

If anything that is the truly defining difference of LEGO Batman. They have added even more goddamn studs to collect. Getting your file to 100% is a serious commitment now. I feel like my Bruce Wayne is more of a destitute than a gazillionaire with the way he voraciously strip-searches the level for more studs. The LEGO series seems committed to making Banjo Kazooie look like a short game of 52-Pick-Up. While you can probably just skip out on collecting all the mini-kits and super hero kits, for those gamers who border on OCD, this is practically predatory.

It is really hard to blame Traveller’s Tales for this though. There is a limit to how far you can stretch their best-selling formula. With this most recent iteration the fundamentals of the series are being tested. In all honesty, LEGO Batman is probably going to be the last LEGO: (Insert Franchise Here) game I will end up buying.

Despite the fact that Traveller’s Tales may have done all they can do with their constructable platform sub-genre series, there are still some shocking omissions from the LEGO series. I am referring to the criminal exclusion of online co-op. These games are practically built around the fun of drop-in drop-out cooperative play. Limiting this to local co-op is simply heartbreaking. My good friend bought this game under the assumption that this would be a core feature of the game. While it doesn’t show off his keenest consumer skills, I can’t say I blame him for the shopping gaff. This is going to be the 4^th LEGO style game that is going to be released on current-gen consoles. How can you make 4 near identical games for a console and not be able to add a feature as commonly used as Live-freaking-co-op?

While my inner Batman fan has been substantially satisfied with this game, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed with this game due to these tragic oversights. This game had the potential to be so much more than a re-skin of their previous titles. They could simply add any online functionality to breathe some semblance of originality to the series. Sadly, I can’t help but feel that this cookie-cutter design trend from Traveller’s Tales isn’t going to end anytime soon.

Once again, the process of deciding whether this game deserves your money is as simple as the other LEGO games. If you are a fan of the franchise receiving the plastic brick treatment, then you probably stopped reading this review the minute you saw Danny Elfman and are presently in line at your local Gamestop. Alternatively, if you are parent trying to subtly influence your child to love the Dark Knight as much as you do, this is probably a great place to start. As for the rest of the human race, I can’t genuinely recommend this game to anyone else; it has relatively limited gameplay with tacked on replayability and absolutely no online functionality. It is sad to say that the block-building series might have run its course, being unable to stand on the laurels of it’s own game mechanics.

2 years into this “next-generation” of home consoles a few revelations have been made quite clear to enthusiast gamers. Arguably the most startling for this group is the paradigm shift of Nintendo and its subsequent abandonment of its loyal fanboy army. They appear more interested in moving to the grandma and soccer mom audience with their friendly white-boxed Wii.

While most gamers like the idea of an expanded audience in theory, the reality of it is not as pleasant. In practice this means that the new and prettier installments of their beloved franchises get ignored in the wake of a torrential downpour of mediocre mini-game collections and gimmicky accessories. Throughout the internet this outcry is heard loud and clear. Gamers are begging for Nintendo to return to the glorious days of yesteryear where Mario stuck to plumbing and Starfox stayed in his Arwing.

The problem with this whining is that if you take an honest look at Nintendo, this isn’t a new direction for them. The difference is that this time, they’ve actually been successful.

First off, Nintendo is a business. This may sound like a rather simplistic thing to point out, but it is quite apparent that most of the Wii Whiners out there don’t understand this idea. While you may swear eternal loyalty to the big N, that loyalty will only be reciprocated as long as you pay the bills for them. If you take a look at the sales figures of the last generation, it becomes clear that the Ninty fans weren’t doing a stellar job. So while there are petitions and forums devoted to getting an Earthbound sequel, those same folks need to understand that a project like that will only make a tiny fraction of the amount of money that Wii Fit 4: Your Still A Fatass! will inevitably rake in.

Even the actual pursuit of this fabled “wider audience” for gaming has not become a sudden endeavor for Nintendo. This is a company that got its start making playing cards. Hell, their first step into electronics was a fucking love tester. The company was nearly 100 years old when the NES launched.

When they finally got into the home console business, their super special trade secret for success was simply having a seal of quality (It is worth noting that they took the word “quality” out of their seal before the Wii released). After the oversaturated shit-show that was the Atari series of consoles, Nintendo understood that poor movie-licensed games and jingoistic crap could end your chances in the fledgling video game industry. In 1985, Nintendo had reached that “wider audience” simply by making a system that had consistently decent games.

Even their family friendly orientation was present from the start. They were so strict in their licensee agreements that even Joe Lieberman applauded their efforts. Keep in mind that this is at a time when most Japanese companies were honestly considered a “threat to the nation”. In recent years you can see the consequences of their family friendly nature. I have a Purple…er… Indigo Gamecube that presently acts as a bookend. Not exactly the most badass of color schemes. My point is that this reputation for being the company of hardcore gaming was never truly warranted.

Do you waggle fans remember me?

Before you decide to chant out a litany of games that stole your time years ago and that “hardcore” gamers speed-run to this day, remember one thing… THAT WAS YEARS AGO! Back then, games like Chrono Trigger, Super Mario Kart and Metroid weren’t known specifically as “hardcore” games. They were simply games that were designed to have a wide appeal at the time because they were genuinely original when they were released. They were not targeted specifically to reach the tiny, niche market of only time-altering RPG fans or lovers of female bounty hunters. Games have grown since then and moved on to new forms. It’s about time that “hardcore” gamers do the same.

However, mediocre E rated games aren’t the only things that are clogging store shelves thanks to the Wii. Almost anyone who has entered a game store has probably noticed the unending stream of cheap plastic accessories that are made for Nintendo’s new white box. This has become another sore point for fans believing that this is further evidence of Nintendo selling them down the river to plastic shell peddlers Joytech and Mad Catz. While I would prefer to see actual games on store shelves rather than accessories that turn your Wiimote into all manners of murder weapons or sex toys or both I have to say that this is just par for the course with any Nintendo console.

You see, I have a theory that most Nintendo fanboys have a criminally selective memory. They all seem to be under the belief that each Nintendo console only had releases that either started with Super Mario or Final Fantasy and the only peripheral that ever came out for their systems was the Zapper.

Let me jog your memory. The NES pioneered the concept of drowning gamers in either useless or broken peripherals. As I am writing this article there is a R.O.B. staring back at me with those empty red eyes, just begging me to play some Gyromite with him. The constant stream of crap peripherals has been associated with Nintendo since 1985, they’re recent success has only reinvigorated this strategy.

His gaze is unending.

I suppose that’s ultimately what it comes down to. We liked Nintendo better when they were the loser of the business. They were the equivalent of the kid that you only hung out with because by comparison you were just so much cooler. That may sound awful but desperate attention starved people are willing to go to great lengths to earn your love, and in Nintendo’s case your money. This is what gave us a steady supply of faithful reinterpretations of the games which entertained us for years before. Nintendo knew that they could count on us. But, much like the loser you used to score cool points with, they will find a new group of friends who will appreciate them for who they are….

Then you’re fucked and have to find a new underdog to keep you company.

Well, already in the first week I have broken my attempt at a religious routine of blogging.

I refuse to let this be the end of my attempts to become more responsible, but goddamn this is harder than I thought.

Yesterday, I ended my day after a half-day of work and a single a lecture. Immediately I was called by one of my friends who wanted to hang out. Being 2:30pm I figured I had a few hours to spare. After going school shopping with a group of friends and a few levels of Braid later it was 9pm and I still wasn’t working at home.

Needless to say I neither studied, read, exercised or blogged yesterday.

On the plus side, despite the wash that was yesterday I have managed to stay up to date on both my readings and exercising. However, when I look at my upcoming academic schedule I visibly shudder. It makes me wonder how I could get through these past semesters with such a lazy attitude. However, this may be a little too early for me to be this concerned. Time will tell.

So, despite the fact that my previous post doesn’t mention it, I feel I should now. It has been a long hiatus from writing for me. Needless to say, summer was busy for me. I was fortunate enough to have another full-time government job that I will get to continue on at this fall.

With the influx of distant friends and the burden of school off my shoulders all semblance of order or restraint washed away swiftly. Despite the implication, nothing regrettable happened; it was just the usual fun time-wasting antics of summers past.

Actually, this might have been a more productive summer considering the money I made along with earning a useful G2 class driving license and with it the freedom to meander the city in a beat-up grey Mazda minivan.

But, I’m back now.

I made a vow to myself that there would be some significant changes to my lifestyle in September. My vow was to stick to something I never really had dedicated myself to… a routine. Mostly I wanted to get out of the unhealthy cycle of laziness and screen-looking that plagued my previous academic years. While some of you may say that maintaining a quasi-personal blog is very counter-intuitive, I would like to rebut that with a stern but friendly, fuck you I like it.

First off, there is the exercise plan. With tuition this year costing me around $5500, I figured that I might as well milk this university thing for all it is worth. In other words, my gym attendance will increase infinitely this year. I am also coupling this gym regimen with a nightly push-up routine brought to me by the intertubes.

While health and fitness was a good motivator to start, it certainly wasn’t as powerful as vanity. Recently I was informed of a looming family vacation to Barbados which is both awesome and daunting. This time on the beach I would prefer to not look like a cushy surrender flag. It would be nice to blend in for once, and maybe get to look like a bronzed god…

Putting academics after a section devoted to my desires to get killer triceps kinda makes me seem like a big fucking haircut doesn’t it?

The way I see any schooling is that it just takes time. When I was having marathon study sessions at the library learning more in a week than I did most of that semester, I decided that a less intense regimen throughout the year might not be a bad idea. As much as I prefer being at home, my productivity in the library is at least 10-fold that of my study sessions in my room.

Attendance for classes was never a major problem for me. And that alone could get me high B’s for many of them. However, if I want to give this med school thing a legitimate shot I should go for the gusto and get some A’s.

There is also a good chance that this academic routine will play wonders for some other problems I have such as my insomnia. The best way to make sure that I both go to sleep and wake up at reasonable times is to have a rather rigid schedule to base myself off of. Nothing will ensure a quick sedation than reading through 2 chapters on point mutations.

And of course, no routine is complete without some form of leisure. This sounds remarkable geeky, planning out your fun-time. Luckily my weekends have remained perfectly free of any commitments. I plan on quarantining my gaming and usual hanging out to this limited time period.

However, I do want some of my free time to be at least personally fulfilling. Recently I’ve picked up my guitar again, and have decided to reintroduce myself to it. With my friends’ newfound enthusiasm for music, I feel I should try to join in on the fun. 30 minutes every weekday should be sufficient practice for me to get back into the groove of things.

While it is really exciting to plan this new way of living for myself, I am aware of how much of a challenge this will be for me to maintain in the days to come.

Neversoft, you have got to be kidding me.

Anyone working on Guitar Hero: World Tour has absolutely no right to criticize Harmonix on innovation. It appears that World Tour’s director Brian Bright has forgotten who actually started the series that his company has been riding the coattails of. The name of your game is itself a rip off of the premiere game mode in Harmonix’s Rock Band.

How he was able to say say this without either himself or the interviewer cracking is beyond me. He just has to look back to his own projects disastrous debut, when his boss was immediately called out for both lying and copying another company’s innovation.

For some reason Tony Hawk and a drunken Paula Abdul (there is good chance that she still thinks this is the set of American Idol)

Neversoft’s gaff has brought up a larger issue to light though. Why the hell should anyone care for Guitar Hero: World Tour? I’ve read the previews, seen the few unique features of World Tour and I still don’t see the appeal. Why should anyone should even remotely consider this game over the Rock Band series?

The vast majority of features that have been announced are already present in Rock Band and will likely be advanced upon in Rock Band 2. This means that Activision is already playing catch-up in this genre. Yet there is still a great deal of faith being given to Neversoft, believing that they can make a game that has an experience even close to that of Rock Band’s.

Let’s just think about this for a second. Rock Band can easily be described as Harmonix’s magnum opus. This is a company that has made more than 13 music-oriented and rhythm games over the past decade. Most of Harmonix’s employees have substantial experience in music, many moonlighting in relatively successful bands.

On the flip side, Neversoft’s claim to fame is the Tony Hawk franchise. Now maybe I’ve been playing Tony Hawk wrong for 9 years, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t a revolutionary rhythm game.  The idea that they can create a better full-band rhythm game than Rock Band on their first try is bat-shit fucking insane.

Before anyone accuses me of being a speculative cynical jerk I should let you know that this isn’t entirely speculation. Neversoft has had the chance to iterate on Harmonix’s success before. While Guitar Hero 3 is probably the best selling game in the series (it helps that it was released on every console known to man) don’t let that financial success confuse you. Most plastic axe battlers probably didn’t know or care about the developer switch until it was too late.

Guitar Hero 3 was the game that turned me off the Guitar Hero franchise for good. I was amazed at Activision and Neversoft’s ability to make a sequel to a game as profoundly simple as Guitar Hero worse than its predecessor. Sure, the game had some good songs (Cliffs of Dover, etc.) but the actual game-play just felt strange. The actual note-charts felt obnoxiously overloaded for the sake of difficulty, having you playing notes that weren’t actually there. The prime example of this is the game’s most notorious song, “Through the Fire and the Flames” the hardest part of which was actually a synth piano opening. These oversights spelt it out pretty clearly. Music wasn’t exactly Neversoft’s strong suit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s hard to pick out the perfect Dead Kennedys song to accompany a 720 Benihana, but that doesn’t make them qualified to tell the difference between a C sharp and their assholes. Their game lacked the appearance of any technical understanding or passion for music. While I will never argue that Guitar Hero is a substitute for actual musical talent, the note charts that are in the previous clearly were made with care. They corresponded with the notes in the actual song; their progression followed along with the musical scale, etc.

Even the new features that Neversoft brought to the table were awful and half-baked. The battle mode was just broken and un-fun. It ultimately became a contest to see who could get the first power-up to win. The single player boss battles were even worse. They felt like idiotic wars of attrition that kept you from getting to play real fucking songs. Neversoft even had the gall to take features like co-op quickplay out. Why the hell would you ever want to make a sequel have less features? This is one of the best examples of the stupidity that Activision nurtures.

Despite that, Guitar Hero at its core is a fun party game that plays off our wildly awesome and childish rock-star fantasies. The first two games captured that perfectly with notebook scribble menus and epic rock concert venues with animatronic zombies fighting at the Stonehenge. Guitar Hero 3 felt like it was trying to teach us about the sad reality of rock n’ roll where you will be drowned in product placements and dealing with one heroin addicted lead singer.

Lets look to the present now. World Tour is promising to have the full band experience with regular DLC featuring full albums. For now lets ignore what Rock Band has and focus on what Activision has both promised and delivered in the past.

Prior to GH3, I remember hearing promises of regular DLC. GH3 went months without having additional content. And even when songs you wanted were added to the online catalogue, you were purchases were forced to endure Activision’s draconian bundle and pricing system. You had to buy songs in 3-packs, regardless of how shitty the other two songs were. The songs were also priced at the uncomfortable rate of 500 points for 3 songs. This comes to about $6.25US. It also helped that most of the songs were present in previous Guitar Hero games.

This record makes it quite clear about what we should expect from World Tour. A feature-lite version of a game that has been out for a year with ugly aesthetics, arbitrarily competitive game-play with an equally limited and expensive DLC catalog. But hey, there is a midi sequencer to make up for all of it.

Please don’t accuse me of actively wanting the release of a bad game. I would love to have two high-quality rhythm games to play with my friends. It’s good to want things. However, gamers have to be both realistic and reasonable about their expectations for the next Guitar Hero. Gamers have already tasted the fruits of Neversoft and Activision’s labor. All I’m saying is that it takes a special kind of idiot to be anxious to eat shit twice.

While I love a good narrative as much as the next guy, I have to admit that I really don’t have much time for conspiracy theories. It would be great to be just as imaginative as some of the people on internet, but I’m afraid that I just can’t do that.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine that drifted into the realm of American politics. It seems strange that I would actually get into a debate with him considering that our political compasses line up pretty well. However, he began claiming about ties that the Bush family had towards coups to overthrow FDR and industry ties to the Nazis. I’ll let you guess my opinion on the performance the second Bush presidency, but I do feel obliged to draw a line somewhere. I just don’t feel that you should be throwing labels and charges around so haphazardly.

First off, I must admit I haven’t checked out or researched a lot of these claims myself. You can judge me accordingly on that. While I’m sure George W. Bush’s grandpa wasn’t exactly pleased with FDR’s “New Deal” being a wealthy Connecticut businessman. But seriously, a military coup? FDR was a pretty popular guy, and with the American publics affinity for war-time presidents no matter how incompetent or racist public support for a military overthrow would be unlikely.

More ridiculous a claim was of the Nazi collaboration of George H.W. Bush. Covering secrets up has their limits. There is no way that this would remain a secret for when he ran for office, then as Reagan’s Vice President then again as President. I know his opponent was Dukakis, but seriously, America would elect a handicapped orangutan over anyone with a Nazi skeleton in their closet. That N-word actually ends political careers.

If any of these claims had any real evidence that supported them I am fully confident that they would not remain secret. Someone would report them. Now hold on a minute before you scream about a corporate run media of consolidated entities which rule the United States secretly. While I won’t disagree with claims of media consolidation and manipulation, the scope of American corporate evil can’t really touch media entities like BBC, Sky News and Al Jazerra(which manages to keep stealing BBC journalism talent). Even PBS airs some pretty damning reports on the Presidency.

Other than reporters, there are simply political opponents who would actually be willing to kill to get this kind of dirt on a political enemy. Nothing guarantees you an election quite as well as having a Nazi sympathizer/collaborator as an opponent.

Also, don’t kid yourself, Digg and Wikipedia aren’t the greatest defenders of truth and justice. While they are a good place to start research, they have just as much inherent credibility as the IGN message boards, it is still built and moderated by a relatively anonymous online community.

All I want to say with this is that anytime you are exposed to any radical theory about how things “really happened” just take a moment and think. I don’t mean that in a pretentious or insulting way, I literally mean it. Think of whether it really makes sense. Do you really think that after 45 years no one would have squealed or leaked information on Kennedy’s “real killer”? Do you think that all of the hundreds of investigators involved in the intensive studies of that “Day in Dallas” were all in on it and brought all their secrets to their graves? These aren’t rhetorical questions, they are meant to be asked and answered.

Don’t think that I don’t have any understanding for why it is fun and even tempting to believe these theories. It is better to believe in an alternative than to accept the truth that is frighteningly simple. I find it scary to believe that one crazed former marine could kill the man who brought the world out of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

            I should finish off by saying that I don’t mean any insult to my friend who brought these theories to my attention. You know who you are, and I do respect your opinions in all aspects of life whether it be your taste in video games or politics. I’m not even saying that I disagree with what you are saying regarding unethical behavior in these Presidents. But lets be honest, this current President is bad enough; I don’t need connections to Hitler to strengthen my opinions about his administration.

First off, I know that the daily schedule attempt has gone to absolute hell. Once again I blame higher education.

On that note I think my ongoing scholarship saga deserves an update for all those readers who just don’t care.

Basically, it’s gone. Long gone. Gone Baby Gone. Gone Fishing. Gone to the Land Before Time Part 37. I would go into the details of CGPAs, GPAs, and WGPAs, but it really doesn’t matter and neither I nor any reader will care. All that matters is that like the popularity of Hair Metal my scholarship is gone and it ain’t coming back.

Presently, I am really glad that I didn’t drop American History, since it makes no difference anymore. The pressure is off and I’m glad as hell. On the other hand, I now have to deal with the fact that the potential $5000 savings for school is gone, and that I will undoubtedly be paying full price for the next two years of tuition. Considering my relatively stable financial situation this probably sounds like unnecessary bitching, but seriously guys, five grand can buy one hell of a gaming rig and that must count for something.

This new development has really exacerbated my growing doubts about my program. Paying full price for an education you don’t necessarily want seems like an awful big waste. At this point I am well aware of how little choice I have in this. Leaving my program after putting in two years is almost idiotic, considering how few of my credits would end up being transferable and that two more years slogging away at least guarantees me a relatively nice government job. This wouldn’t be a permanent outcome, just a nice interim income to tide me over until I “find myself”.

While this seems like a fine plan on paper, I kinda hoped to be able to find my eventual career relatively early in my life. Or at least get out of school soon. While I am having fun with the student lifestyle, I just don’t want to wake up to be that old, slightly balding guy in the lecture hall. This probably sounds like a pretty strange or even stupid motivation, and maybe it is, but you can’t say you blame me for wanting to be well on my way by 30.

While on the bus ride today, I think I came up with a pretty damn good idea for a RPG. Seeing as public transit is the best inspiration for anything, I’m sure you are all reading this with baited breath. If anyone reading this makes a game like this, I demand my royalty cheques, no less than 10% of profits.

The key aspect (gimmick) of this rpg would be its use of popular support/politics as a balance. Now this doesn’t mean that a Somethingawful.com poll controls the game, just try to bear with me.

The main character would be either a prince/princess to a dominant empire. This would be an empire that has peaked and its overextension seems to be bringing about its end (think Rome or America). Like any responsible father, the king entrusts his heir to prove himself ready for the throne as the commander of a section of the army. So, there would be a widespread strategy element over-encompassing the actual action/RPG gameplay (sorta like Kessen, only with actual strategy)

Now, of course to add intricacy and a more customizable game there would of course be a wide range of character choices in terms of morals to take. However, like real life there is no simple light and dark side, these choices would lead to a wide variety of outcomes all with different shades of grey.

Basically I see it as Prince Simulator (and would clearly come with a purple daemonic guitar controller). Where the political balance comes in is as a consequence for the missions/how you play the missions as the Prince. You can be a monstrous/ruthless military leader, where you get the bonus of crushing enemies of the empire, but you would have to answer to your father/the other government officials (I’m not implied a Senate subcommittee mini-game) through dynamic changes in your relationships with them.

Your relationships with the dissident factions and insurgents would be just as malleable. You could appease them, or even aid them in their agenda. The variety of different plots/endings/dynamics that the player can create is what would define the game.

As the prince a player could forcibly overthrow the king to take control, they could choose to allow(or bring on) the empire to fall allowing for a new world order,  they could choose to vainly fight on against the dissidents of the empire while adhering to the kings restricting policies.

The game would need some incredibly detailed AI for the important characters controlling factions, or even more detailed AI for the overall faction movement or opinion. Even the general populus would need some for of procedural control with it adapting to choices of the player or even secondary effects of the actions taken (regional increases in rebellious sect control)

The point is that I would still want a lot of the art design and character modelling to be indicative of a jRPG style. However, the plot and characters would be much more dynamic, instead of a generic, derivative fan-fiction plot, the player would have the opportunity to create a very epic saga of their own. I know KotOR and Mass Effect tote the choose your own adventure gameplay, but really the choice isn’t that varied. There is good and evil. I think a true player created storyarc needs to have the ability to be unique to the player.

I like to think that I can truly express this perfectly through writing, but I don’t think I can go into all the details I see floating in my mind in a single post.

I’ve decided that no matter how mundane or self-indulgent my writing becomes I will stick to a daily schedule. So, I hope you like reading deeply into my semi-public diary.

This week has been appallingly slow and tiring. Just had another midterm today, which ends my slew of testing for at least the next 3 weeks. So now I am in a strange state, where I know I should try to do something productive, but I just can’t bring myself to do a reading or even stay awake in class. Everyday that I proceed through this year, the more and more likely it becomes that I won’t get my scholarship back. This, as I’m sure you can imagine is discouraging.

The saddest part is that I don’t even have the satisfaction of knowing that I put my best effort forward. It’s certainly more than I put forward in high school, but that just isn’t saying much at all. Saying that I don’t put any effort into school isn’t some form of defense mechanism to protect a conceited idea that I am just a misunderstood genius. Being extremely lazy is a bigger flaw than just being stupid.

The ability to just sit down and work is completely foreign to me. I just don’t work like that. This is a funny thing to say; because I usually don’t end up working at all. My skills seem to be focused in the quest to avoid work. Whenever I turn on my computer, I have a complete routine to go through before ever having to open up my notes. Check Facebook, see the new front page at Digg, scroll through Kotaku and Joystiq, peruse through Team Fremont forums, then finally I would start up MSN. There are so many redundancies to keep me from being productive, it’s like I am the Hoover Dam of procrastination.

Regardless, this is a behavior that I have been trying to change for years. I have tried a variety of measures to change this. I’ve unplugged my game consoles and TV, my laptop has no computer games on it at all, I’ve even tried to stay at school well after class to prevent the distractions of home from getting the best of me.

However, when you simply aren’t interested in getting down to business, no measures can make it easy. This is why my present plan of medicine isn’t looking too good. Slowly I am getting the feeling that this just isn’t for me. There are many things I like about becoming a doctor, but when the whole passion isn’t there, what can you do?

To be continued tomorrow….